A date for four

An adventure to anywhere, we didn't know. We ended up in Seattle to visit places we haven't been to in a long while or not at all. A beautiful day. A day well spent.

And the start of a day trip trend that followed for each coming day trip we found ourselves on..

I have spent an insurmountable amount of time being upset about things I can't control. I don't have a false sense of perfection by any means, but I actively try to be the best everything I can be. I can't even tell you how often I worry about those things, hoping to be more and do more.

There comes a time when you have to realize that you are enough, that things are okay just how they are right now. Be thankful for the here and now, and let go of what you can't change at this very moment. Chances are, you have it all right now, you just need to see it.

I have found myself with these feelings of upset so much that I completely miss out on the present. It's so easy to worry about yesterday, tomorrow, five years from now, etc.. but what about right now? The here and now is irreplaceable. During an incredible Wellness class in college, we did an entire study on "being present." One exercise had us laying on yoga mats spread out across the room with our professor gently telling us things to keep us in the present and so utterly relaxed many of us fell asleep, if only for a moment. It was incredible. I've never forgotten that segment.

 I think of my attitude and my ability to just play. Play with my kids, let go of the worry and just be there. And I find myself so utterly ashamed when I see how easily I snapped at something I could've laughed about or something I could've brushed off or embraced. Then, I'm terrified of how I made my kids feel, my husband, and anyone else around me. I'm not sure when the worry started, or if it's always been there, but I'm trying harder than ever to let things just be, let things go, and live in each moment, love each moment, and embrace each sweet memory we make.

I pray that the smiles and laughter that happen are reciprocated deep down. I want their little souls to be just as filled with that happiness. I want their stories to be built of the sweetest memories.